she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
