I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
