We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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