You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
