his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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