Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
