Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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