sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize