cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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