So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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