hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
