just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Randomize
