If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize