I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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