ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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