I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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