Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Randomize
