as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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