The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
