dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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