The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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