we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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