the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
