Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I am available for nakedness
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
