Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize