Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
