great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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