I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
