I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
