put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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