she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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