I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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