The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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