I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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