yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
