I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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