o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She told me I should be a condom model.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"