dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake