I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.