What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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