dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
True college students do jello shots in the library
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