Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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