Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
