We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
