and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
