Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize