I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
