she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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