Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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