my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
