i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
