Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
