Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
