haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
