ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
