Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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