why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
