i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
