Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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