look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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