arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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