Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I intend to get homeless drunk
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
