just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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