Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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