naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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