Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
