They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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