My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
