Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just pynch a tree in the face
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
