A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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