I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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