Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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